Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
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