id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
