This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
