I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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