Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I think i peed on brittanys purse
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize
