I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
soo... how was my night?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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