THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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