I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
