Fine. I'll sleep in my office
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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