I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
