ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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