doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
