She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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