ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
