Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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