NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
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