yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I'm drive I can fine osifer
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
