I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
