i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
