Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
