it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
