So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
