Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
