I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
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