Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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