I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
