so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
