wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
