It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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