I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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