Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
