we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
