I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Best friends brother. Beat that.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
