Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
We're too hungover to prance.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
