her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
