I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
