you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
