didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
