You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
