How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
