wanna go halves on a baby?
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
