nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
