somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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