in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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