Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
