I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Randomize
