how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
