Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
They are going to name an STD after you.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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