1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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