My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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