I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Life without a bra equals bliss.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
