I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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