you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
