well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
